Brown Eyed Girl
by trix is for kids
Summary: Guy falls for girl, guy cheats on girl, girl falls for... other girl. That had been their story, but is it really the end? Jalex FRIENDSHIP, with Palex and Jayzel thrown in.
1. The Beginning

**Title: **Brown Eyed Girl

**Pairing(s): **Jalex FRIENDSHIP with some Palex and Jayzel thrown in the mix.

**Rating: **"T" for all of the cursing

**Disclaimer: **Just to make sure nobody forgets, I'll repeat: I do _not _own Degrassi and make no claim to. I _also _don't own the song "Brown Eyed Girl".

**Author's Note: **The first part of this chapter (_the part written in italics_) takes place _during _the Jay/Alex scene in High Fidelity. The rest of this chapter is set directly after that scene… And the rest of the story takes place afterseason five. Also, the chapters will alternate from Alex's POV to Jay's POV.

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**1 –The Beginning **_(Alex's POV)_

_I just broke up with Paige… I just broke up with Paige and I have no idea why…_

_But whatever. _

_Right now, I'm heading home from the mall. Maybe I'll watch some TV and order a pizza or something. Hopefully, my mom and her bastard of a boyfriend are already passed out. I don't feel like dealing with them right now. All I want to do is be alone… I open the door to my fleebag apartment to find Jay inside –sitting on the couch. _

_Great. Fucking Great. _

_What the fuck is he doing here? I drop my bag on the floor and cross my arms over my chest –trying to convey my message to Jay through my body language. My message? _

_You. Leave. Now._

_It's not affective. "Look, I'm not here to bug you, okay? I'm watching the game with Chad… or I WAS… before he passed out." Chad passing out? What a surprise... Well, at least I got part of what I wanted. I sigh and move a little farther into the apartment –making sure to keep my back turned to Jay. I don't want him to see me cry… not that I'm going to… _

"_You look like you got hit by a bus," I hear him say._

"_Paige __Michalchuk break-up express."_

"_You looking for a shoulder to cry on?" He pauses for a few seconds. "Or maybe just a quick rebound?" How did I not see that coming? I guess he's still the same jackass that he always was._

_I turn to look at his smug face... only, surprisingly, it doesn't look all that smug right now… Whatever… "Jay I'm not bi. I'm not confused. I'm a lesbian. An actual lesbian –who just broke up with her first girlfriend and it sucks." Jesus, why the hell am I getting so emotional about this? I'M the one who broke up with HER._

_Jay gets up from the couch and walks over to me, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. He looks like he almost… cares… "I'm sorry," he says, "It's one of the first times I've said I'm sorry and actually meant it."_

"_It's one of the first times you said sorry and I actually believed you."_

_He breaks eye contact to glance nervously around the room for a second. "…Um, do you want to watch some TV with me? No funny business, just… friends hanging out."_

_I think it over for a second… "Fine."_

_I walk over to the couch and take a seat close to the end. Jay sits down too… It's weird. 'Just friends'… that might just be one of the hardest things he's had to say in a while… I glance at him and can't help but smile. Maybe he's not the same old jackass after all. Maybe… maybe he actually changed._

"How've you been?" he asks after about five minutes of perfectly fine silence. It wasn't awkward. It wasn't boring. It was _nice_. And then Jay had to go and ruin it with a stupid question.

I sigh. "I've been alright, I guess."

"Do you still hang out with that girl… um, Hazel?" he asks me for God knows why.

"I don't know," I answer simply. I really wish he would just shut up now. I miss the un-awkward silence.

"What about that gay kid? Do you still hang around with him?"

"I guess so." Okay, since when does Jay talk so much? It's starting to annoy me.

"Did you know Sean's back?" Okay, what the hell is wrong with Jay? Can he not tell that he's starting to piss me off?

"Duh," I say trying to sound as annoyed as possible.

Yes! I think he got it! Instead of asking me another question, he turns to face the TV… "Do you want to finish watching the game or would you rather watch something else?" he asks while grabbing the remote. Damn it.

I roll my eyes. "I really don't care." I also could care less if he spontaneously combusted, jumped out the window and fell three stories into a vat of chocolate pudding. At least then he wouldn't be in my apartment –bugging the hell out of me. What's up with all the questions, anyway? I feel like I'm in some loser game show or something.

He looks back over at me and before he even says a word, I warn him, "This better be your last question."

He nods. "Fine." He looks down at his shoes for a second and takes a deep breath before looking back up. He almost looks like he has tears in his eyes. "We were together for three years…" he sighs, "Did it mean _anything_ to you?"

_What? _What the hell made him ask _that_? And why is he getting so emo, I'm-so-hurt, about this? What, did he switch brains with Nash or something?...

You know, fuck this. Since when is _he _the victim here anyway? "Did it _mean _anything to me? Damn it, Jay, I could ask _you _the exact same question. _You _cheated on _me_ with every skank at the ravine!"

He looks back down at his shoes. "Well, maybe if you would've spent more time with me, maybe if you hadn't been using me as a fucking experiment to see if you liked guys, then maybe I wouldn't have had to cheat on you," he doesn't say that like he's angry. If anything, he just looks even more miserable.

And I have no idea what to do…

I want to tell him that he wasn't just some "experiment". I want to tell him that I _did _actually care about him back then… But at the same time I feel like punching him square in the jaw for blaming _me _for his cheating. _How the_ _fuck _was it my fault that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants for more than five minutes?... I don't say anything for a few minutes. I _can't _say anything. I mean, the guy's a jackass, but, right now, he just looks too damn pathetic for me to deck him.

"Get out," I finally say. It's the only thing I _can _say.

"… but I'm still watching the game…" he says lamely. He doesn't really care about the game and I know it. He's only making excuses so he can stay longer.

_Why _does he have to make this any more difficult? I sigh –irritated. "Fine," I get off the couch and head for the door –if he _won't_ leave, then I _will_. "I'll be… somewhere." Where exactly? I don't know… I'll think of something. It's better than staying here listening to Jay's self-pitying bullshit.

"And I don't want to see you still here when I get back," I add before slamming the door shut behind me.


	2. The Strip Club

**A/N: **A few things you should note: First of all, if you didn't already know, "Emily" is Alex's mom and "Chad", of course, is Emily's boyfriend. Also, the bit at the top of this chapter is written in italics because it's overlap from the last chapter. Thirdly, the Chad incident at the end of this chapter will come into play later on the story… And finally, thanks for the reviews. As always, reviews are much appreciated.

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**2 –The Strip Club **_(Jay's POV)_

"_We were together for three years…" I sigh, "Did it mean anything to you?" I immediately regret asking. I don't even know what the fuck's got into me tonight, I just… I just need to know, I guess. _

_Lexi looks pissed. "Did it MEAN anything to me? Damn it, Jay, I could ask you the exact same question. YOU cheated on ME with every skank at the ravine!" _

_I look down at my shoes because I can't face her knowing what I'm about to say… "Well, maybe if you would've spent more time with me, maybe if you hadn't been using me as a fucking experiment to see if you liked guys, then maybe I wouldn't have had to cheat on you." _

_Lexi is quiet for awhile. I can't tell if she looks more like she wants to deck me or give me a hug. _

"_Get out," she finally says. I was kind of expecting it, but it still catches me off guard. I can't leave. Not now._

"… _but I'm still watching the game…" I say lamely. It's the only excuse I can think of for letting me stay. _

_She sighs –obviously annoyed. "Fine," she says as she opens her apartment door "I'll be… somewhere. "And I don't want to see you still here when I get back," she adds before she slams the door shut behind her._

I lean my head back on the couch and sigh. _Why _do I always have to go and fuck things up?

Seriously.

Even when I try to make things right, they always just… end up sucking.

I chuckle at my use of the word "suck". Brings back memories of Cause Girl and…

Damn it. _That's _how this whole fucking problem started.

I lay my head down on my hands and let out a groan. Why did I have to cheat on Lexi? Why did I have to ruin the one good thing I had going in my life? And why the fuck don't I get a second chance?... And could I sound any more emo right now? I'm almost as bad as Nash… At least I'm still nowhere near as bad as Manning, though. I guess there's hope for me yet… If only I could get Lexi out of my head…

I groan again. This is so fucking unfair! She could have at least tried to be with me one more time before she decided to go the gay way… Of course, right now, even if she _were _straight she still probably wouldn't give us another chance.

I'm a cheater.

And that's all I'll ever be to her.

… And _that's _why I can't just leave right now. I can't just have her out of my life forever. So maybe we won't get back together again –we can still be friends, right?... But, if I leave now I don't know if she'll ever even _talk _to me again. I have to make it up to her. And I have to do it tonight.

The game ends and I change the channel to Law & Order. The show is so fucking boring that it gives me time to think things over. After that the news comes on, giving me even _more _time to think things over. About half an hour into the news, Lexi finally shows up again. "I thought I told you to leave." She sounds pissed. Really pissed.

"Well, technically you never told me to leave –you told me to 'Get out' and then that you didn't want to see me here when you get back," I say being a smartass as usual.

Alex rolls her eyes. She looks like she's about to just kick my ass out of the apartment herself. "Fine, I'll say it now then: LEAVE."

I get up from the couch, but I don't head for the door. I put my hand on her shoulder, but she brushes it off. "Lexi, please! I'm sorry, alright? Just… don't make me leave."

"Give me _one_ good reason why I should let you stay," she challenges –still as pissed off as ever.

"Because I'm just so damn sexy," I respond with a wink.

Alex rolls her eyes at me again. "Wrong answer. Now _go_," she points at the door. Why do I always have to be such a smartass all of the time?

I take in a deep breath and do my best to not piss off Lexi any further. "Look, I just… I just really want us to be friends…" I pause and take in another deep breath, "You're the best thing in my life right now… And… I don't want to lose you… not again."

…And now my transformation into Manning is complete. Fuck.

Well at least it looks like Lexi's softening a little. I guess I finally said something right for a change. "Okay… you can stay if you want…" she says after a long hesitation. She grabs the remote and crashes onto the couch. "Just no interrogations this time, alright?"

I nod. That was more than alright. The fact that she's even letting me stay is amazing enough. Almost makes me want to act like Manning more often… almost… I take a seat at the opposite end of the couch (so as not to press my luck) and watch her flip through channels… She must have passed through every channel at least three times by now and she looks about ready to slam the remote into the TV. "You know, glaring at the TV isn't going to change the fact that there's nothing on."

She sighs and leans back into the couch. "Maybe we could watch a movie or something."

I smirk. "Actually, I have a better idea…"

"That would be a first," she jokes.

I put my hand over my heart. "_Ouch_, Lexi. That hurt… but really. Instead of sitting here doing nothing lets go out."

She raises one eyebrow skeptically. "Out where?"

"_Well_… I was thinking since I was such an ass earlier that I could make it up to you… How about we head out to the strip club downtown. My treat."

Alex rolls her eyes at me before going back to flipping through channels. "Why is it that guys think they can get on a lesbian's good side by just taking her to a strip club?"

"Because they can," I answer.

She slaps me on the arm –but it's a playful slap. I think I might actually be getting somewhere. After flipping through the channels one more time, she sets the remote down and stands up. "Fine. Let's go."

I stand up as well and smile. "I knew you'd give in to my charms eventually."

She laughs as she heads for the door, "You're taking me to a strip club, not a romantic dinner for two."

"Oh but come on, Lexi, let's face it –I'm irresistible. By this time next week you'll be all over me."

"Riiight. I'll be all over you and-" she stop mid sentence.

Chad's up.

He's up and still very drunk. I look over at Alex and have a pretty good idea of what she's thinking right now. I'm guessing it's something along the lines of 'Fuck.' Chad gets up, stumbles over to the kitchen and gets himself another beer. He glares at both of us. "What the fuck are you two doing?" he asks harshly.

Lexi shoots him a dirty look. "We were just heading out," she answers –more so he doesn't get angry than because she wants to.

Chad grunts in response. "And where's your mother?"

"She's asleep in her room," I answer him this time.

Bad idea.

Chad gets up in my face. "Was I asking you?" I shake my head 'no' just so he'll back away a little. His breath is disgusting. He backs up a little and takes a sip of his drink. "That bitch didn't buy enough beer again. I swear, I need to teach that woman a lesson," he says –talking about Emily like it's no big deal.

It's a big deal to Lexi, though. She grabs Chad by the shoulder. "You lay one finger on my mom and I'll have you arrested!" she spits.

He laughs.

And then he pops her one square in the jaw.

Of course, Lexi barely even flinches. She's the toughest chick I've ever met in my life and, right now, I can't help being reminded of why I fell for her in the first place. She doesn't take any shit from anyone. She still amazes me to this day. She grabs me by the wrist and heads out.

And Chad flipping her off is the last thing I see before she slams the door shut behind us.


	3. The Gay Kid

**A/N: **For anyone who might not know: Jack Daniels is a type of whiskey, and Dylan is Paige's older brother/Marco's boyfriend (but of course you probably already know that...). And thanks for the reviews, comments are always appreciated.

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**3 –The Gay Kid **_(Alex's POV)_

"So, could you tell me _why _exactly we're at the mall on a Saturday night?" Jay asks before taking another bite of the Milky Way Bar he just stole.

"It's fun," I say –trying my best not to sound sarcastic.

He swallows his bite and gives me a look. "_Fun_?"

I roll my eyes. "It's not like we have anything better to do," I say. It's the best line I can think of. I mean, it's not like I'm actually going to tell him –or _anyone_, _ever_- the real reason we're here… Paige. _That's _why we're here… There's a sale on at one of the stupid stores she likes and she's bound to be here and… I guess I just want to talk to her… Maybe make-up even? I know it's stupid but… I don't know…

I sigh.

Jay finishes his candy bar and throws the wrapper away. When he walks back over to the bench I'm sitting on, he sits as close as humanly possible to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. "Penny for your thoughts, babe?" I can't tell if he's being sincere or just the cocky dick that he usually is, but it doesn't really make a difference either way.

I brush his arm away and scoot down a little. I glare at him. "Okay, A: never call me 'babe' _ever _again and B: when was the last time you took a shower?"

He smirks. "_Well_, you're sure in a good mood today."

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.

He sighs. "Oh, come on, Lexi. We've been having a good time these last few nights. Don't be like this."

I smile a little. "We _have _beenhaving a pretty good time. A damn good time." In fact, I've spent the last few days pretty much just hanging out with Jay, my good friend Jack Daniels and some _very _lovely strippers I've gotten to, um… "know"… a little better.

Jay stands up. "Exactly. So how about we get going then. Have some actual _fun _tonight"

I sigh. "I can't leave yet." We can't leave before I get a chance to talk to Paige. "You can go if you want, though." I mean, it's not like I even forced him to come with me here in the first place…

He shakes his head. "Nah, I'll stay." We sit in silence for a while because I have a lot on my mind… and Jay? Well, he never has _anything_ on his mind, but I guess maybe he just doesn't feel like talking at the moment… I'm trying to think of something I could say to Paige that wouldn't make me look completely pathetic when I spot someone I recognize…

"_Alex_?" Marco comes over to the bench me and Jay are sitting on. "Alex!" he squeals when he reaches us –giving me a hug while he's at it. "Alex, it's been so long!"

I roll my eyes at him. "It's been, like, a week."

"Well, I guess it just _feels_ like it's been forever, then." He glances over at Jay for a second before continuing. "So, how's my former vice-president been doing?"

"Alright, I guess." I look past Marco –I'm thinking he's probably here with Dylan meaning Paige might be here, too…

"Looking for someone?" Marco asks.

"Um, I was just…" Oh what the hell… "Is Paige here with you?"

He looks at me –puzzled for a second, before a grin forms on his face. "You still like Paige!" he squeals.

I roll my eyes at him. "No, I don't." He gives me a look. "Okay, fine. I do, but-"

"But nothing. You two are _perfect _together. Oh my God, and I thought you guys wouldn't ever be together again after she told me she slept with Spinner and…" Marco keeps talking but I'm not paying attention anymore.

She _slept with Spinner_? This… I can't… I mean… No… This can't…

"Are you okay?" Marco asks –concerned. He puts one hand on my shoulder…

But Jay immediately gets up and moves it away. "Of course she's not okay!" he says getting right in Marco's face, "You just told her that her ex-girlfriend fucked some moron the second after they broke up!"

"She… she didn't know?"

Marco looks like he's going to piss himself.

"Jay, it's okay. Just calm down," I say grabbing his arm –trying to get him to back off Marco a little.

Jay turns around to face me –still as pissed off as ever. "_Calm down_? Fuck. Maybe I'd be a little more _calm _if your stupid little faggot friend here wasn't such an inconsiderate jackass!"

Okay, now _I'm _pissed off, too. I get up from the bench I was sitting on and give Jay a hard shove. "What the hell's your problem?"

"I think the real question is what the hell's _your _problem, Alex," he says getting in _my _face now.

"And what's _that _supposed to mean?"

He looks down angrily at the floor for a second before practically screaming at me. "It means, why the fuck do you hang out with this fruity, preppy, no-it-all, little… little…"

"Homo?" Jay turns around to find himself face to face with Dylan.

Jay smirks. "Yeah, thanks, Homochuk. That's just the word I was looking for."

Dylan lunges at Jay and Marco immediately grabs Dylan to hold him back and I do the same with Jay. They both look ready to kill each other. Jay keeps talking shit and Dylan's face is getting so red it looks like it might explode. This is _insane_. A crowd is starting to gather around us and _how the hell did this even start in the first place? _"Calm the fuck down," I whisper into Jay's ear. I just know we're going to get kicked out soon.

"You want me to calm down?" he asks –still glaring at Dylan, "Because, you know, I think Homochuk might need to calm down a little, too." He makes sure Dylan hears every word of what he says. Seriously, _every time_ Marco manages to calm Dylan down a bit, Jay has some other stupid thing to say that pisses Dylan right back off… And I can't fucking stand this anymore. So, I end it once and for all.

I knee Jay right in the balls.

That shut him up.

---------------------------------------------

We're at my place now. Amazingly, we managed to leave the mall without even being _thrown _out. Some stupid infomercial's on TV and Jay's focused completely on it –one hand covering his crotch protectively. He hasn't talked to me at all since the fight. I'd apologize to the guy, but, for God's sake, it's not like he didn't have it coming.

"Do you want, like, some ice or something for that?" I ask. It's the least I can do.

He shakes his head 'no' and doesn't look away from the TV at all.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Look, all I did was kick you in the balls so you wouldn't kill or get killed by Dylan –I don't see why you have to get all pissy about it."

"I… I'm…" he sighs and turns to look at me, "I'm not pissed off about that."

"Um, _okay_… then what's with the silent treatment? Usually I can't get you to shut up."

"I… don't know," he says quietly before turning to face the TV again.

Whatever.

We end up watching several ridiculously boring infomercials without saying one word to each other. One for some dumb exercise program called "Tae-bo". One for some hair growth supplement. And one for 'Girls Gone Wild'… Okay, so that last one wasn't boring, but still…

"Why did you want to go to the mall?" Jay asks randomly. I don't know if I'm more surprised that he asked the question, or at the question itself.

"So, you're talking to me again?"

"Lexi, could you just… answer the question?" he asks. He looks over at me, "Please?"

Okay, since when does Jay ask so many questions? Since when does he care? And since _when _does he say _'please'_? I don't really know how to answer him… I guess I could always just tell the truth… "I- I wanted to see if Paige would be there… I wanted to… maybe… work things out between us…" I can't fucking believe it, but I'm actually starting to get all emotional again.

And even harder to believe? Jay scoots towards me, wraps his arms around me and whispers something in my ear.

"I'm sorry."


	4. The Past

**A/N: **This chapter didn't pan out at all like I thought it would, but I'm happy with it and I hope you like it too. And I also just want to say that I'll be gone for a week, but I'll probably update pretty soon after I get back.

Oh, and one last thing… To prevent any confusion: the _first italicized part_ is italicized because it's overlap from the last chapter and the _second italicized part_ is italicized because it's a flashback.

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**4 –The Past **_(Jay's POV)_

_We're at Alex's place now… She was right –I really **did** need to calm the fuck down. All that beating Homochuk would have accomplished would've been getting us kicked out of the mall. Hell, the queer probably would've even pressed charges. But still… Lexi didn't have to go and kick me in the balls… I place my hand over them (to, you know, make sure no other damage can be done) and concentrate on some stupid infomercial on TV –keeps my mind of the pain. And, damn, does it hurt like a bitch right now._

"_Do you want, like, some ice or something for that?" Lexi asks after awhile. _

_I shake my head 'no' and stay concentrating on the TV._

_I hear her sigh. "Look, all I did was kick you in the balls so you wouldn't kill or get killed by Dylan –I don't see why you have to get all pissy about it."_

_**Okay**… she thinks I'm… Damn… "I… I'm…" I sigh and turn to look at her, "I'm not pissed off about that."_

"_Um, **okay**… then what's with the silent treatment? Usually I can't get you to shut up."_

"_I… don't know," I say quietly before turning to face the TV again. I really **don't** know why I'm not talking to her. I mean, if I'm not pissed about her damaging the family jewels then why the fuck **aren't** I talking to her… I sigh. Maybe… Maybe I just… "Why did you want to go to the mall?" I ask –I need to know._

_She looks surprised. "So, you're talking to me again?"_

_Duh. "Lexi, could you just… answer the question?" I look over at her, "Please?" That's probably one of the first times I've said 'please' but… I just need to know this…_

_She hesitates awhile before answering. "I- I wanted to see if Paige would be there… I wanted to… maybe… work things out between us…" She looks about ready to cry. _

_And it's all my fault… **Jesus**, why do I **always** have to fuck things up? Damn it, Queereye was a jackass for just blurting out that Cheerbitch boinked Furby two seconds after Lexi broke up with her… but I was just as bad. Picking a fight with the gay kid? What am I? Stupid? He wouldn't have lasted a second against me… and then Homochuk had to come to his girlfriend's rescue… and… fuck. Things just got out of control… _

_And for once, I'm going to try and make things right… I scoot over to Lexi and wrap my arms around her. I lean in to whisper something in her ear…_

"_I'm sorry."_

* * *

It's been a week now since the thing at the mall and Lexi has just been moping around the whole time. Damn it, why did Queereye have to tell her about Blondie and Furby? Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut for one God damn second?... Whatever. Lexi's not going to be all mopey for much longer because today me, her and Seany-boy are going to hang out. It'll be just like old times… I sigh… Well, it'll be just like old times except for the fact that me and Lexi aren't together anymore… I'm outside her place right now and I knock on the door. Emily opens it and smiles –giving me a hug as well. "Jay! Come in!" She's always so happy to see me. It's nice. I walk in and take a seat on the couch. "Lexi will be ready in a minute. Can I get you anything while you wait for her?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks." Emily grabs a beer for herself and takes a seat next to me. "So, uh… is Chad here?" I ask more to make conversation than because I actually care.

She takes a sip of her drink and shakes her head. "No, honey, he's out buying some aspirin." She smiles at me some more and puts her free hand on my cheek. "You're such a nice boy -just like my Chad," she sighs, "I still don't see why Lexi won't take you back."

"We've already covered this mom," Alex says as she walks into the room (and _damn _do she look hot), "Jay's not my type."

Emily sighs. "Fine, Lexi. What exactly _is _your type, then?" she asks –frustrated.

Alex rolls her eyes. "_Girls_, mom. _Girls _are my type."

Emily just sighs again.

And takes another sip of her beer.

Lexi grabs her keys, puts on her sunglasses and walks over to the door. "Come on, Jay. Let's go."

I get off the couch and follow her out. "Bye Emily."

"Bye kids! Have fun!" I hear Emily say before Lexi shuts the door behind us.

* * *

The car ride over to Seany-boy's place is pretty quiet. I just… I just can't help thinking about what Emily said earlier. _"You're such a nice boy –just like my Chad." _Just like Chad… I don't want to be just like Chad. Hell, I don't want to be _anything _like Chad. It doesn't take a genius to know the guy's a total asshole. I know how he is with Emily and Lexi. Sure, he's always piss drunk when he beats them around but that's no fucking excuse.

I remember back when me and Lexi first knew each other –she never let me come over. I'd always ask her why I couldn't come, but she'd never answer me. She'd always just punch me in the arm and say, "None of your business," and then we'd go back to stealing Pokemon cards from the kids at school or whatever shit we liked to do back then. Of course, finally one day I bugged her about it enough and she gave in. She took me to her apartment… And when we got there I was kind of disappointed. I had expected her place to be behind the town dump, or cram packed full with relatives, or a cardboard box out on a street corner –but it wasn't. It wasn't any more of a shit hole than my place.

"_Alex, I don't get," I said after looking around a little, "Why didn't you want me to come over?"_

"_Maybe I didn't want you stinking up the place." Even back then she was sarcastic as ever._

_I rolled my eyes at her. "Come on, Lexi. Tell me the real reason," I said pouting. "You know you can't resist a face like this," I winked at her._

"_You're right. Who could resist feeling sorry for a face as hideous as yours?" she laughed._

_I laughed too –before giving her a kiss on the cheek… because even back then I was head-over-heels for the girl. She gave me a funny look after I kissed her. "What was **that **for?"_

_I shrugged. "I dunno… So, you wanna play a game or something?" I asked._

_She nodded and we went in her room. We played cards for a while and then played on the PlayStation I 'borrowed' from some rich kid from school. We had fun. We **always **had fun together… And before we knew it, it was nighttime. She was just about to finish kicking my ass at 'Crash Team Racing' when she suddenly dropped her controller. "Shit! What time is it?" she asked –grabbing my wrist to look at my watch. "Shit!... Uh, Jay, you need to go." She grabbed me by the wrist again and practically dragged me out of her bedroom._

"_Lexi, why-" before I even had time to finish my question I saw the door to her apartment open and slam shut. Two people had come in, a woman and a man, and I knew they were both pretty drunk –I wasn't stupid. And, in that instant, I also realized that **this **was why Alex didn't want me to come over… _

_The man was gripping the woman's arms so tightly that I was sure he was going to leave bruises. He was screaming right in her face. _

_She was crying._

_I don't know how long I was standing there for, but I do know that, as soon as the man hit the woman, Lexi ran over to the two. "Stop it, Chad!" she screamed while punching him square in the stomach, "Get away from my mom!"_

"_Mind your own business, you stupid little bitch!" he screamed at her._

_And without giving it any thought, Chad pushed Lexi to the floor and kicked her hard in the ribs… And right then and there I felt like teaching Chad a lesson, but I didn't (which is probably a good thing considering I was only a scrawny little twelve year old and Chad could have beaten the shit out of me). Instead I quickly picked Lexi up off the floor and carried her over to her room. It wasn't hard –she was **so** damn tiny back then. I locked her door and set her on her bed. I turned the radio on too –to drown out the noise coming from the living room a little. Then I sat down next to her and put her head in my lap. She was crying and I remember I kissed her forehead. _

"_Shh, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay," I said trying desperately to get her to stop crying. I always hated seeing her cry._

_She looked up at me. "Will you stay here?" she asked between sobs._

_I lifted her head up off my lap so I could lie down beside her. I wrapped an arm around her and held her close to me. "I'll stay here forever if you want me to," I said quietly._

_She looked right into my eyes –and straight into my soul. "Promise?"_

"I promise."

Alex looks over at me from the driver's seat. "Huh?"

I look around. I'm in Lexi's car. And it isn't moving. We've made it to Sean's place…

"Jay," she says to get my attention, "You alright?"

I nod. "Yeah, I'm fine… I just… spaced out a little."

"A _little_? You were completely out of it for the whole ride," she says getting out of the car. I get out too. "You're not high, are you? Because I might have to kick your ass if you toked up without me," she jokes while shutting her car door.

I laugh and shut my door. "Come on, Lexi, do you really think I would risk getting my ass kicked by you?"

She laughs and we walk over to the stairwell of Sean's apartment building. Alex doesn't bother locking her car. It's not like anyone is going to steal the piece of shit anyway. She stops when we reach the bottom of the stairs. "So, if you're not high, then what the hell got you so spaced out?"

I stare at her, not knowing how the hell to answer her question. "I- I was just…" I sigh… "Do you think I'm like Chad? Is that why you… you know… went the gay way? So you wouldn't end up like your mom."

She chuckles. "Jay, although I'd _love _to blame you for making me 'go the gay way', not even _you _are a big enough jerk to do that. You can't _turn _someone gay…" She pauses to take her sunglasses off and look at me straight in the eye, "And no. You're _nothing_ like Chad."

I smile. "Thanks," I say quietly.

"No problem."

She starts to walk up the stairs, but I stop her. "Wait…" she turns back around and raises an eyebrow, "I- I just have one more question to ask you."

"What?"

"… Do you remember that night…" I gulp, there's a lump in my throat for some reason, "…Do you remember that night when I first came to your apartment?"

A sad smile is on her face.

"Yeah…" she reaches for my hand, "I remember."


	5. The Kiss

**A/N: **Sorry it took longer than I thought it would to update –I had a serious case of writer's block on this story… and I still do, slightly. So, sorry if this chapter isn't very good (the ending is seems pretty corny, if I do say so myself)… As before –the italicized part at the top is overlap from the last chapter. Oh, and you might notice that I wrote "The ...?" at the top of this chapter as the title… Yeah... that's because I ended up taking this chapter in a different direction than I thought I would so the old title didn't fit anymore. Any suggestions for a new title would be much appreciated (as well as any comments) -and, fyi, my titles are always **The + A Noun**.

**5 –The ...? **_(Alex's POV)_

_Jay's been quiet for the whole car ride which is… weird. Not that I'm complaining. A whole car ride with no stupid comments from the smartass? Yeah, that's definitely not something to complain about. Of course, it's still… weird. I take my eyes off the road a few times to glance over at him. He's completely lost in thought (which is quite an accomplishment –his dick usually does the thinking for him). I try to talk to him a couple times but it's no use. He looks like he's on some other planet… Fuck, and if he got high without telling me I'll kick his ass. _

_I pull up in front of Sean's apartment building and Jay mumbles something._

"_Huh?" I couldn't hear what he said._

_He doesn't say anything. He just looks around a little like he has no idea where he is._

"_Jay," I say to get his attention, "You alright?"_

_He nods. "Yeah, I'm fine… I just… spaced out a little." Like that's not the understatement of the century. _

"_A little? You were completely out of it for the whole ride," I say while getting out of the car. Jay gets out too. "You're not high, are you? Because I might have to kick your ass if you toked up without me," I joke while shutting my car door… well, it's not really a joke –I will kick his ass if he got high without me. _

_He laughs and shuts his door. "Come on, Lexi, do you really think I would risk getting my ass kicked by you?" he jokes back._

_I laugh and we walk over to the stairwell of Sean's apartment building. I don't bother locking my car –it's not like anyone is going to steal the piece of shit anyway… And, right now, I'm strangely curious to know what the fuck Jay could've been thinking about during the whole time I was driving. I stop when we reach the bottom of the stairs. "So, if you're not high, then what the hell got you so spaced out?" I ask._

_Jay stares at me like he doesn't have a clue how to answer my question. "I- I was just…" he sighs… "Do you think I'm like Chad? Is that why you… you know… went the gay way? So you wouldn't end up like your mom."_

_Okay, that was priceless. How am I even friends with this idiot? "Jay, although I'd love to blame you for making me 'go the gay way', not even you are a big enough jerk to do that. You can't turn someone gay…" I pause for a second to take my sunglasses off. "And no. You're nothing like Chad," I say sincerely –the idiot really isn't anything like Chad... _

_He smiles. "Thanks," he says quietly._

"_No problem." _

_I start to walk up the stairs, but Jay stops me. "Wait…" I turn back around and raise an eyebrow. What else could the loser want to tell me? "I- I just have one more question to ask you."_

"_What?"_

"… _Do you remember that night…" he gulps, "…Do you remember that night when I first came to your apartment?"_

_I smile –Jay really is an idiot. How could I forget a night like that? It was… he was… that was the first time I actually felt… loved. "Yeah…" I reach for his hand, "I remember."_

"Hold your horses! I'm _coming_," I hear Sean say impatiently through his apartment door. I hear a click and the door opens. Sean is standing there looking relieved as all hell. "Damn it, Jay. I thought you were my landlord coming for the rent."

Jay and I both laugh. Good old Seany –paying the rent never was one of his strong points.

Sean gives us a funny look, looks down at our hands and smiles at us. "Are you two… like… together again?" He asks us.

And _I'm _about to ask Sean what the hell he's been smoking until I realize that me and the village idiot are still holding hands… Fuck. I quickly let go of Jay's hand and glare at Sean. "We are _not _together again."

Sean looks puzzled. "Then why were you holding hands?"

"None of your fucking business," I say defensively –pushing past him to get inside his apartment. I crash on the couch and cross my arms over my chest. Damn it, why am I so fucking defensive all the time? Today was supposed to be a good day.

"Nice to see you too, Alex," Sean mumbles as he shuts the door. He takes a seat on some rotting old chair and Jay sits next to me on the couch.

I scoot down as far away from Jay as possible and Sean laughs. "I get it Alex, you two aren't together… So, how've you been?" Sean asks me.

"Gay," Jay answers for me. He looks kind of pissed. Oh _please_, tell me the moron isn't pissed at me from scooting away from him. It's not like I don't have good reason to –the guy's like a walking STD.

"Gay?" Sean looks confused. So, I guess the village idiot never told him about me and Paige.

"Yeah, did I forget to tell you? Lexi here is a big lesbo –you see, apparently I was just some experiment for her," he's smirking at me as he says this and I swear, I could deck him square in the face right now.

…But I manage to control my urge to punch. Of course, my urge to yell is most definitely still there… "_How many fucking times do I have to tell you: You were not just some God damn 'experiment'?_"

He glares at me. "Oh, I don't know –maybe you can stop having to tell me that after you finally tell me why on Earth you _did _date me!" Jay spits back.

I just sit there glaring at him.

"_See_! You can't even think of _one _reason why you ever wanted to date a scumbag like me," by the time he's done saying this, he's not yelling any more –it's more like crying… It almost makes me feel sorry for the guy… even thought he _did _cheat on me…

"Jay," I say putting a hand on his shoulder –but he brushes it off and gets off the couch.

He sighs. "I just… I need to be… alone… right now…" He walks off into the kitchen and, so help me God, I'm about to follow his sorry ass in there –but Sean stops me.

"Um, I'll take care of this… You just get comfy," he laughs when he says the second part –like anyone could 'get comfy' in this Hell-whole apartment.

So, Seany follows Jay into the kitchen leaving me all alone in the living room –wondering about what just happened. I mean… is Jay… in love with me? I know he sure as Hell wasn't back when we were dating –otherwise the lying fuck would have never cheated on me… And seriously, even if he _had _been in love with me back then… am I _really_ that hard to get over? I sigh… Of course I'm not that hard to get over –Paige got over me in a couple hours, max...

Over the sound of Jay and Sean talking in the kitchen I can hear a soft knocking on the door… Funny. I mean, it can't be the rent man –he'd be yelling at Sean to open up… And it's not like Sean to invite friends over (and I can't blame him –I wouldn't invite friends over to this dump either). The knocking continues and I decide to just go ahead and open the door…

And it's…

Paige.

"Hi," she says unsteadily.

"Um, hey… How did you-"

"Jay told Ellie who told Marco who told me that you'd be at Sean's place today," Paige answers my question before I can even finish answering it.

"Oh," is all I can manage to say. Having her here –standing right in front of me- it's just too much to take in.

She glances around nervously a little. "So… can I come in?"

"No." …Okay, so maybe that was a little harsh. "I mean, it's not my apartment… so, I mean, I can't really say if you can come in our not… And, I mean, Sean isn't really to fond of having people over… And-"

"Alex," Paige cuts me off. "Alex, sweetie –you're rambling." She giggles a little and smiles –Jesus, how I missed that smile. "Um, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I- I just came to tell you that…" she sighs, "Alex, I miss you –I miss _us_… And, I just want you to give us another chance."

I don't know what to feel right now. She wants me to give 'us' another chance? She _misses _'us'?... A part of me wants to tell her that I miss 'us' too… and another part of me wants to cuss her out. "You sure didn't _act _like you missed 'us'," I say flatly.

She sighs. "I know… And I know _you _know about what happened between me and Spinner… But, Alex, I think you _don't _know –you don't _realize why _it happened." She sighs again. "Lexi, the thing with Spin –it never would have happened if I hadn't been hurting so much that night. You- you broke my heart… and… and I just thought Spinner's furry head might cushion me from the pain a little," she jokes –and tries to laugh, but her tears get in the way.

I cup her face in my hand and brush one of her tears away. "Paige, I… I'm not good with words…" I lean in and kiss her –and hope she understands all that I'm feeling. Anger, guilt, frustration, regret, betrayal… but most of all…

Love.


	6. The Ex

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long for me to update again –school's really getting tough… But anyways… thanks for the reviews –reviews make me happy. And the first part of the chapter overlaps a lot with the last chapter. And I decided not to put it in italics this time because there was too much overlap –it would have been too annoying to read. And… I guess that's it. As always, any comments, positive/negative feedback or suggestions are very welcome.

Oh, and for your information, I've decided that the title to the last chapter is "The Kiss". Okay, so on with the story…

**6 –The Ex **(_Jay's POV)_

Lexi takes a seat on Sean's couch and I take a seat next to her –only to have her scoot as far away from me as possible. Why does she always have to be such a bitch? Sean laughs. "I get it Alex, you two aren't together… So, how've you been?" He asks her.

"Gay," I answer Sean's question for Lexi.

"Gay?" Sean looks confused.

"Yeah, did I forget to tell you? Lexi here is a big lesbo –you see, apparently I was just some experiment for her," I say with a smirk.

Alex looks like she could deck me square in the face right now. "_How many fucking times do I have to tell you: You were not just some God damn 'experiment'?_" she spits.

"Oh, I don't know –maybe you can stop when you finally tell me why on Earth you _did _date me!" I spit back.

And she just sits there glaring at me –which means I must be right. I was just some fucking experiment. She was the love of my life, and I was just some _fucking experiment. _God, damn it.

"_See_! You can't even think of _one _reason why you ever wanted to date a scumbag like me." I start out screaming, but end up practically in tears. Fuck this.

"Jay," Lexi says, putting a hand on my shoulder –but I brush it off and get off the couch. I don't want pity.

All this emotional bullshit is making me feel like a fucking pansy right now. I sigh. "I just… I need to be… alone… right now…" I walk off into the kitchen to clear my head –today was supposed to be about cheering up Lexi, and I _already _fucked it up.

I can't be in the kitchen for more than five seconds before Cameron walks in. He casually opens the fridge and grabs two beers for us –acting like nothing just happened. "So…" he takes a sip of his beer, "I see you still have a thing for Alex."

I glare at him, open my beer and chug the whole thing.

And Sean nods and stands there analyzing me like he's my fucking shrink or something. "Jay, man… I hate like seeing you like this –you _have _to get over her." God damn it, what does _he _know about this? What does _he _know about losing the one relationship that has ever meant anything and then not getting a second shot at it? Lexi is my world and she always was… I was just to fucking blind to realize that when I should've. And now I can't have it back.

I reach into the fridge and grab another beer –this time only chugging half of it. I sigh. "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand? You're having trouble getting over her and in the meantime you're acting like a complete ass… Seems pretty simple to me."

"No," I glare at him again, "You don't _fucking _understand…" I stare down at my drink. "I'm in love with her." There. I said it. Jay Asshole Hogart is in love with a girl who'll never love him back. And it sucks. And I can't deal with it. And when I feel tears start to run down my face, Sean pretends not to notice.

He always was a good friend.

After a few moments standing with Seany-boy in the kitchen trying to calm down, I hear someone knocking on Sean's door. "You should probably get that."

He nods. "Yeah… I should... but are you gonna be alright, man?" He moves closer to me and makes an attempt to hug me –I nearly spit my beer out laughing.

"Don't tell me you've gone the gay way too," I joke… and avoid his question.

Seany-boy punches me on the arm. "In your dreams, Hogart."

"More like in _your _dreams, Cameron," I laugh and start to head out of the kitchen. "And hate to break it to you, but you're not my type."

"Damn," Cameron laughs and follows me out…

And that's when I see them. The Cheerbitch Michalchuk is standing in the doorway –kissing _my _Lexi. I… this… _What the fuck? _

Paige is Lexi's _ex_-girlfriend. Her _ex. _Her _EX_. "What the hell do you think you're doing with my girlfriend?" I scream at Paige, and I'm about to lunge at her but Cameron holds me back.

"Jay, calm down. You're overreacting," he says in my ear.

"_Overreacting_? Did you miss the fact that this _bimbo _here was trying to steal my girlfriend!"

Lexi nearly pounces on me. "You don't _ever _call her a bimbo again! And I'm _not _you're girlfriend!" Oh… right… I… guess I forgot just now.

I stop trying to lunge at Paige so Sean loosens his grip on me. "Lexi… I… I'm-" before I can apologize Lexi finishes my sentence for me.

"An idiot!" She reaches for Paige's hand and slams the door shut behind them. And all I can do is stand there thinking how right Alex is.

I _am _an idiot.

000000000000000000000000000000

It's been a week since the whole fiasco at Seany boy's place and I've finally managed to talk to Lexi –she'll be here in a few minutes… I feel like fruitcake fixing up my place so much (I even _fluffed _the God damn _pillows_), but I really want Lexi to forgive me and to do that I guess I'll have to stop being such an asshole. Which means presenting myself better. Which means cleaning my apartment every once in awhile… and picking all the porno magazines up off my floor... I hear a knock on the door just as I finish fluffing one last pillow (and that sounded _so_ homo).

"Come in," I say loudly –the door wasn't locked. "Hey," I smile as Alex opens the door and comes in… with Paige. Wait, who said cheerbitch could come? Damn it, she's gonna ruin _everything_.

"Hey," Lexi says coldly, crashing on my couch. She raises an eyebrow, "Since when do you have pillows?"

I just shrug in response. Then I look over at the cheerbitch who looks more than a little uncomfortable –she's still standing by the door. "You coming in or are you afraid you might get poor people germs on you?"

She rolls her eyes. "Actually, I was more afraid of contracting an STD." Lexi laughs at Paige's joke and Paige walks over to take a seat on Lexi's lap… and I have to stop myself from cringing.

"So, uh… you want a beer or something?" I ask.

"Sure," Lexi answers and then turns to Paige. "Babe, you want anything?"

Blondie makes a face. "Um… no, I think I'll pass on that one." Stuck up bitch… I head out to the kitchen and grab two beers. I have trouble deciding whether I should put them in glasses or something… Whatever. I'll just keep them in the cans –it's not like Lexi gives a shit… By the time I walk back in the room, Lexi's arm has snaked its way around Paige's waist. Lexi whispers something into Paige's ear and Paige giggles. And Lexi smiles. And all I can think about right now is how I wish Lexi would smile at me like that instead of Paige.

Damn, I liked it so much better when Paige was her ex…

"Would you like to take a picture or something, hun?" Paige says in her usual bitchy way. I guess I'd been staring at them for a little too long.

I ignore Blondie's comment and just hand Lexi her beer –wouldn't want to fuck things up again over some stupid comment the cheerbitch made. I take a sip of my beer and sigh. I want to apologize to Lexi… but not with Blondie here. Damn it… I sigh again. I guess I'll just have to do it with her here, it would be hard to convince Lexi to come back again –she's still pissed at me… "Alex," I start, "Look, about last week… I was-"

"An ass," Lexi glares at me.

I nod. "I know… and I'm… sorry. I don't know what came over me… but whatever the reason, I was still _way _out of line and I'm sorry I keep making you put up with my bullshit. I'm an ass… but what do you say? Will you forgive me anyway?"

The look Blondie's giving me right now is priceless –I guess she didn't really expect me to apologize. Shows how much the bitch knows about me… And as for Lexi?

"Fine," she says simply and coldly –but her eyes are telling a different story… and with in a few seconds she flashes a smile at me… It's not the kind of smile she gives to Paige…

But it's better than nothing.


	7. author's note

To anybody who has been reading my stories "Perspective" or **"Brown Eyed Girl":**

I'm sorry I've been _horrible _at updating (some of you might know that I'd been planning on updating over a week ago…). My computer keeps getting viruses and school has been killing me lately. And, even though I _really _would like to write fanfics all day instead of go to school, sadly I don't think my parents would go for that. So, pretty much I won't be able to update for a while –minimum: a couple of weeks, maximum: December-ish? I'm hoping that when I get back to writing I'll still have some readers… My fingers are thoroughly crossed.

-trix is for kids


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